The other day in class, we all took the Love Styles Survey. The styles included Eros, Storge, Ludus, Mania, Pragma, and Agape. At first, I thought we were learning our love language, which was obviously wrong. I was really excited to find out my style since this was all new information to me.

When I completed the survey, I found out I was Storge. Storge is when the love grows gradually. You are friends at first and learn your common interests and life goals. This love is typically very stable and peaceful. Was I surprised that this was my love style? Absolutely not. Anyone that I have been romantically involved with or I liked was always my friend first and usually we were friends for awhile before.

When taking this survey, there was only 2 people I could use for it. It was either my ex-boyfriend, Garrin, or a guy I had talked to most of my senior year of high school, Dillon. I didn’t want to use Garrin because our relationship was only 2 months and he cheated on me and dumped me over text, so I knew I would just be angry the whole time taking the test. With Dillon, we both knew we liked each other a lot, but we never made it official because we lived 3 hours away from each other and only knew each other from and academic competition we both were competing in. Our relationship was something I felt mattered way more than the one with Garrin and this one was more recent. There is a point to telling you all of this, Scout’s Honor.

The common characteristic between the two was that I had been friends with them for a while before our relationships. I had known Garrin since middle school and we dated junior year. We had grown to know each other and we were really close friends. With Dillon, I met him a few months after my breakup with Garrin. I thought he was funny and attractive, but I never initiated anything because I thought I would never see him again. Senior year, I had been going through a lot and he actually reached out to me and we talked for a while. It turned into us being very close friends and then we ended up really liking each other. He even told me that he thought I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I know, that should have been a red flag, but at the time, he was literally my best friend and I loved the idea of it. We stopped talking because he was apparently talking to another girl while talking to me and then he got a girlfriend. I really know how to pick them, huh?

Enough with my love life, but as you can see, it isn’t really surprising what my love style is. If I was given the descriptions before the test, I probably would have thought of myself as Storge or Agape. Agape was actually my second highest score, which also didn’t surprise me. I’m not even upset with my style either. And it is possible that people change, but I don’t think I will. I never meet someone with the intention of possibly dating. I’m the type of person who doesn’t really care about being in a relationship. I don’t use dating apps and I don’t tell anyone how I feel about them. I think it is actually important to start off as friends because when you are around your true friends, you aren’t afraid to show your true colors. For example, I am not afraid to be loud and obnoxious around my friends because I trust them. I feel by starting off as friends, it not only allows for you to truly get to know people, but you build that trust with them as well. I never seek love, I just let it find me.

This love style can be a bit scary, however. The reason I say this is because if you build this amazing friendship with someone and then you date, what if you break up? With Garrin, we never really communicated again. It was a nasty break up and it put me through a rough time. Not only that, but I lost a good friend. Now, I can’t even think of him as good friend without being blinded by how he wronged me. With Dillon, like I mentioned, he was my best friend. When we stopped talking, I cried a lot. He helped me through a lot and I helped him. I still miss him sometimes, but then I remember how we ended and and angry I was and how I deserved better for sure. This is typically why I never say how I feel. I would rather keep this amazing friendship with someone rather than have the risk of ruining it with a romantic relationship that may not work out.

Ew, I know, love is kinda gross and I’m gross for feeling it. I’m sorry that I just poured out my entire romantic history (not that long, but it is weird for me to ever talk about it), but it was important for you to read to understand why my love style is Storge and it also may help explain why I am the way I am. Sorry for pouring my heart out and being mushy. Back to my regularly scheduled programing of telling Dr. Law I hate him in class:).